They brought me to my knees.

I want to break him. Do you really now? I want to break him. There's nothing stopping you, surely? W-Well, it's - I want to break him. Then do it, go break him, go break him, every bone, every limb, until he weeps, until he screams, until he begs, until he can't bear to exist, go and break him.

I'm right behind you.

Made me nervous, edgy, I kept falling over, I kept crashing when I thought I saw it. Vomiting in the kitchen sink. I had a dream about it. I completely lost it, couldn't focus, concentrate, it made me clumsy, I managed to break a camera. At first I laughed, and then I broke down and cried. You get to the point where you know you've failed. Failed at the task you had originally set out to do, failed to keep your promises, failed to maintain your loyalty to the people that really matter, failed to succeed. Failed as a person. Oh, how you've failed.

That day I walked in circles, I purposely avoided, I took the longest route, spoke little, ate little, breathed little, felt little. There was no avoiding it, in the end. And I might as well. Went in, I saw them all. Waiting. Patiently. They had all been waiting right there for me, not moving, like vultures, waiting for me to fall over and die. How did I escape? I don't remember. A white light. A darkness. I don't have to justify anything. Why should I have to justify myself? I don't, that's what. Justification proves nothing, you're wrong and I'm right and if you can't accept that then I think it's best we part our ways right here. And oh God but I miss him now I regret, regret my decision and it's his fault his fault but I will not accept it. No. I will not accept it. I was right. It was his fault. Don't you dare accuse me of lying.

You have this air of eccentricity about you. So detached. So noncommittal. So young. It's part of your charm. Too bad you're a disgusting, filthy, vile, depraved, immoral, treacherous, and all that. And I won't fall for you. Oh but I still miss him and I couldn't lift a finger against him. If only I knew.

At first I wanted to laugh, and then I saw the absolute and utter resentment in her eyes. The dirtiest look ever I’ve ever received in my life. I saw absolute hell in her eyes. I froze up. Clearly she wasn’t too pleased, having been brought back down to Earth so ruthlessly. However, my fear was overwhelmed by my remorse, because behind the anger I could see a dark sadness. Yet she managed to encapsulate sheer and utter hatred in a single exprssion.

And I fell in love with her all over again.